He Did The Mash...He Did The Monster Mash... - Battle L.A.

3 out of 5 Popcorn Kernels

See Trailer Here

Watching this movie, I had the feeling that I was watching a feature that was delivered to the studio by a guy who accidentally thought the stuff on the editing room floor was actually the film to be shown, and mistakenly brought it to the theater. Battle Los Angeles plays out as if it was part of a much larger and epic film, that somehow got cut down to an over-extended trailer.


The movie starts off with a bang, as news broadcasts announce that meteors are heading towards earth, and are going to crash land near coastal cities, most likely in their oceans, causing no immediate threat to the nearby major cities. But as we are introduced to the cast, we learn that these may not be a simple astrological event, due to their odd entry into our solar system, and subsequently our atmosphere; the military is certain that this may be an alien invasion.


It is one time the government is right.


In the cities of London, Paris, Barcelona...etc. we see the formations land, and their contents exposed (in the form of large, tactile creatures, who resemble a cross between Predator/District 9 & a Jim Henson Puppet), we immediately see they are not friendly, as they come out shooting at civilians with rays-of-fire, causing chaos and pandemonium. City after city is taken under siege...except for Los Angeles...


The special effects then take over, and the acting soon becomes non-existent, but lately this has been the trend, and with such a fine array of actors, I was disappointed at how wooden the whole performance was becoming. Not to say that this was a negative, but it was like watching Celine Dion humming the National Anthem (good to look at...but why?).

Hellooo...Is Anybody Home?

As for the cast...we first meet with Staff Sgt. Nantz (Aaron Eckhart), a Marine veteran with a secret past, who was trying to retire, but had to go on this last mission in fighting these aliens. He is very dashing in this role, even though his words are few, and actions are fewer - but as far as emotional range, he has it, and I had high hopes for the rest of the cast. But alas, many of them are unknown, or known through television roles - and they stretch across the racial lines like fallen Skittles. And normally I would pinpoint a few of the outstanding performances, but in this movie, as we are shuttled through their life stories and head straight into action - as they are sent on a mission to find a few survivors who are trapped within an area of Los Angeles that's been evacuated because they plan to nuke it - they all become just simple chess pieces, with even simpler lines of dialogue; you've heard them all if you have ever seen the introduction scenes in any video game of the same caliber.


The search for a surviving family manages to keep the action going; composed of a single father with two children. Children can really save a movie like this, because the audience immediately has a connection, and the tension that builds is something I wish carried throughout the movie. But we don't interact with any other civilians in the movie, so the connection to the viewer is quickly lost.


It is this mission that takes up the whole movie, and causes it to become a mundane game of cat & mouse (hence the video-game feel to it). During this quest, we are introduced to the aliens, how they fight, what their weakness is, and get confused at who is the victim of the hour (the standard uniforms they all wear become interchangeable after a while). But what makes this film watchable, is that the actors were taking this more seriously than me, and you can see them put every bit of their skill into this appetizer of a script - while deep inside they starved for a real morsel of dialogue that just wasn't to be found. The directing and special effects however, are very good, with interesting shots from the skies, on the ground, and a scene on a bus that gets pretty riveting.


But it all seems like a long commercial...while I sat still waiting for the actual movie to start.