It's Hammer-Time! - Thor

2 1/2 Popcorn Kernels out of 5

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As a fan of comic books, Thor is pretty good - it creates a visual marvel (despite more CGI effects than should be permitted); but as an overall movie masterpiece (where the standard has been set by the Xmen, Spiderman, and Iron Man franchises) it falls a grade below. 


This movie seems to be just a quick vehicle as a lead-in to the Avengers movie that is soon to come out; and if you didn't know - the Avengers are a league of superheroes that come together (sanctioned by Nick Fury (Samuel l. Jackson) of S.H.I.E.L.D.) to fight a global threat. This league includes Captian America, Iron Man, Thor, Hulk...and others as the FIRST Avengers. I wont get too much into that - considering the movie wont be onscreen until 2012; but this story of Thor feels put together with cosmic dust and spit if you ask me...and here's why...

Father Son Moment

Odin (Anthony Hopkins) is the king of Asgard, and he is in the decision of deciding which of his sons will be his next successor; they are, Thor (Chris Hemsworth) handsome but a handful, and Loki (Tom Hiddleston) smart but cunning. He chooses Thor, but as the ceromony begins, there is a attempted theft in the castle. They are currently at peace  from another race on another planet, called the Frost Giants, who's planet is well...pretty darn cold. Back in the day, the warriors of Asgard stole their source of power, known as a Casket of Ancient Winters (a small box-looking thing), and kept it from them so they would not use it to conquer the Nine Realms (which Earth is a part of). Well, they decided to sneak back into Asgard to claim back the Casket - but this attempt fails. If someone took the source of my power, well I would want it back too, dontcha think?


Whew...you with me so far? Good. Well, Thor...being Thor - the hot headed spoiled little brat that he is, from living the good life with his father, and from hanging out with his crowd of friends, who all have different powers bequithed upon them (Thor gets a powerful hammer that does all kinds of damage and stuff), well he is angry because Odin decides to investigate this thieft and hold off on choosing a successor. This does not make Thor happy, and he decides to take his anger out on the Frost Giants by visiting their planet (along with his friends), and wiping out the whole race of them. Unfortunately, he starts to make a mess of things, so Odin has to intervene...saving the day, but now the Frost Giants have declared war - this causes Odin to become very angry at Thor (what's a father to do). He banishes Thor to Earth without his Hammer...and there he meets storm-chaser Jane Foster (Natalie Portman), her assistant Darcy (Kat Dennings), and their founder Dr. Erik Selvig, as Thor shoots from the heavens to Earth. Of course S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Phil (Clark Gregg) also notices the disruption in the Earth's atmosphere (caused when Odin tosses the Hammer to Earth -  only to be lifted by Thor when he has learned his lesson), and goes on alert to find the source.


With me so far...well, Loki assumes the throne when his father becomes ill from all this worry and excitement, and plans to keep Thor on Earth no matter what, although Thor's little playmates want him back...

Remaining Lo-Ki

Okay, you can get the jist of the rest of the story. Thor flounces the tourist population of this small town with his golden skin and fluid pecks, while Jane (are they all called Jane), at first tries to ignore him but of course who could resist those Norse Gods? We then have battle scenes that are so dipped in special effects, that they should just be called Special Sauce, cause everyone bounces back as beautiful as ever...until the final battle of Brother against Brother.


I have to give kudos to the one black character in this film...the gatekeeper of worlds Heimdall (Idris Elba), who despite a limited role (and one of obvious servitude), did a good job of acting as we sense his struggle between loyalty (saving Thor) and duty (obeying Loki), for he guards Thors gateway back home. Loki also was a very intriguing character who I wanted to see more of in the film...he was one of those smart villians that used words more than brawn to get his deeds across; very Shakesperian - but instead of choosing wit to battle Thor, he chooses more etheral methods - yet on every other character in the movie he outwitted the situation with a sort of panache.


Now, I did like this movie as an escapism. It is fun to see my comic heroes as a child on the big screen, no matter the taste of the movie. But we have to like them a little to begin with, and Thor is just not likeable. Iron Man's Tony Stark was a "B!&@*" too, but he was a "B" to other industry-type "B's", and didn't just cause mayhem cause he was bored. Tony also listened to those around him when getting advice. Thor the movie is enjoyable, but it won't be remembered the next day, cause not much happens, the other characters are all forgettable, and the love interest is really...well...really...he only met one gal in a sea of thousands. Surely there are other Asgard women (a township we never see), who are wayyyyyy hotter I'm sure! 


This movie will be great to complete your collection of Avenger movies. Just as the use of Thor's Hammer may only be used to drive a nail through wood, this movie is only an excuse to get inside and soak up some air conditioning. (also...wait until the movie credits are over to see the start of something AVENGER-ous).